Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
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Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
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Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people.
He walks through them
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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.
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