Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Chuck Norris CAN play on broken strings.
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Facebook hides it's privacy from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
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When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
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They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
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Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man.
When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
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The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
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