Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
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When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
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Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
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Chuck Norris invented black.
In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light.
Except pink.
Tom Cruise invented pink.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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In "ring around the rosie", Chuck Norris does not fall down.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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