Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
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Jesus is the son of God.
God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
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When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
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Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver.
When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
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Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
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Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
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