Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean.
The sharks headed for land.
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When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
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For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early.
No one surprises Chuck Norris.
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Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.
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Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like.
The end result was the creation of life.
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Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
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The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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