Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears.
There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
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Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone.
This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
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Chuck Norris can make a rock grow.
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.
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Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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Chuck Norris can fall up.
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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