Joke #11206

Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
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Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris. The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling. He already knows the outcome.
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There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
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Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
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