Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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In the beginning, God created light because Chuck allowed him to.
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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own.
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The First Law of Thermodynamics states:
Matter cannot be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.
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You cannot escape the power of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris traveled around the world in 60 milliseconds.
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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