Joke #11450

A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, music

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One particular Christmas season a long time ago Santa was ready for his Christmas run... but there were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whisky. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the bottle and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?" Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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has 80.46 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Christmas, elf, Santa
At Christmas time, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep. Maybe that's why I'm no longer a fireman.
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has 79.35 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, music, time, wine, work
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, family, food
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.
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has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, music
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Christmas, life, music
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
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has 58.58 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, music
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, Santa
Q: What kind of music do elves like best? A: "Wrap" music!
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: elf, music
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: athlete, Christmas, elf
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card!
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, stupid