Joke #11521

Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
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has 57.81 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: athlete, Christmas, elf

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One particular Christmas season a long time ago Santa was ready for his Christmas run... but there were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whisky. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the bottle and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?" Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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has 78.63 % from 225 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Christmas, elf, Santa
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
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has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, music
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
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has 52.42 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, Santa
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
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has 51.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, family, food
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
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has 44.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, computer, elf, nerd
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card!
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has 42.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, stupid
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
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has 34.42 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Christmas, health
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Christmas, family, kids
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
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has 49.95 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: doctor, elf, Santa
"I have the body of an athlete." "Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: athlete