Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
Once chuck norris and time had race. Result: The time is still running.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
A student was lucky to find a decent accommodation with a cheap rent. His colleagues came to visit him and he was showing them the house. "This is the kitchen. This is the bedroom. And this one is the living room ... " "And what are this hammer and this pot that are hanging on the wall for? What are you going to do with them?" one of his colleagues asked. "This is a talking clock." "I have never seen a clock like that. Can you show me how it works?" "Sure. Look," the student said. He took the hammer and struck at the pot with all his strength. Then a voice was heard from the other side, "What you are doing? Are you crazy? It is half past one in the night, you idiot!"
Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.