What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride!
Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow. A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
What's green green green green green? A frog rolling down a hill.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef.
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
How are tigers like sergeants in the army? They both wear stripes.
Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?" "Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."