Joke #11281

What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride!

I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.

How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.

Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping? Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.

I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.

What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.

Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.

Did you hear about the snobby cow? She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.

There is a Bar in Calumpang who have has a Horse and they have a contest of it. Whoever will make the horse laugh will win P5,000 and free drinks. So a man from Manila comes in and the Bartender looks at him and he ask for a beer and he ask the Bartender about the contest. The Bartender tells him that whoever makes the horse laugh will win P5,000 and free beer on the house. So this guy whisper something to the horse and the horse rolls over and laughing! EEEHHH! He takes the P5,000 from the Bartender, drinks a lot of beer. As he is about to leave the Bartender ask him, "Will you be back tomorrow when we'll have a new contest?" The guy replies" Of course this is easier money than my career." So the next night.  The guy walks into the Bar with a large smile and reads the sign next to the Horse: Whoever makes the Horse cry will win P10,000 and free beer from the house. The Bartender tells the guy," Let me see you win this one." The guy approaches the Horse and shows him something. The Horse starts rolling on the ground and crying. When the guy goes to claim his prize. The Bartender says." Before I pay you, You have to tell me what you did to the horse?" The guy lights a cigarette and says," Easy the first time, I told the Horse that my penis is larger than his, the second time I showed him."