Joke #8393

Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
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has 65.32 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider? A harenet.
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I had to go round next door and look after my neighbour’s cat while he was away. Now there’s a great pile of crap and a puddle of wee on his kitchen floor. Hopefully, he’ll think the cat did it.
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Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
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A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
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First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, memory
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain? (A drizzly bear!)
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Q. How does a frog confuse you? A. When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
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Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
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has 63.97 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
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Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch. First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows." Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows." Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows." Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp. First Bull: "I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend." Second Bull: "I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I'm certainly not looking for an argument." They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting. First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish, let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it." Third Bull: "Hell, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."
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has 82.80 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: animal