Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
Similar jokes
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"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?"
"Because theres to many cheetahs."
Why does a chicken lay eggs?
Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night.
All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out.
"Jesus is gonna get you."
The robber ignored it, and takes the TV.
Again, the parrot cries out.
"Jesus is gonna get you."
The robber started to get a little worried.
"What's your name, birdie?"
"Moses."
"What dumbass named you Moses?"
"The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
Vote:
Two guys meet:
"Where were you lost my friend? says one of them."
"Well, I took my kids to the zoo..."
"And what kind of animals did you see there?"
"The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...”
"Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”!
"Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse?
Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
Vote:
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm."
"Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?"
"I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"