Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out? A: A shadow.
The judge: Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association? The inculpated: Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.
Q. Why don't lions eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls. He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first."
What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired? It got toad!!
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".