Joke #1508

Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!" The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get it's pajama's off, I'm gonna screw it!"
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has 66.81 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, disgusting, money, music
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
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has 77.86 % from 227 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, sex
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, marriage, wife, work
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What did the cow say to the other cow? A: Moo.
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication
Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit? A rubbit!
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot? Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.
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has 14.74 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot
Why is manna from heaven like horse hay? Both are food from aloft!
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, heaven