Joke #11319

Hide an alarm clock in someone's bedroom and set it for 3:00 a.m.

In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami. "Excuse me," she said to the manager. "My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks." "I’m awfully sorry," he replied, "but all of our rooms are occupied." Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out. "What luck," said Mrs. Goldstein. "Now there’s a room. "Not so fast, Madam. I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed." "Jewish? Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic." "I find that hard to believe. Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?" "Jesus, Son of Mary." "Where was he born?" "In a stable." "And why was he born in a stable?" "Because a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!"

I just recently discovered that there is a national holiday named after Atheism. April FOOLS day. Like this story in the name of Jesus.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch. He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.

Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."

Put tape over the optical sensor of someone's mouse.

Place a pair of pants and shoes inside the only toilet stall in a rest room to make it appear someone is using it all day.

Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.

Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decaf.

Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.