Hide an alarm clock in someone's bedroom and set it for 3:00 a.m.
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My nookie days are over
My pilot light is out
What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord
From my trousers it would spring
But now I've got a full-time job
To find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing
The way it would behave
For every single morning
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches
It sure gives me the blues
To see it hang its little head
And watch me tie my shoes.
A young couple were married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long. Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower.
He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom.
When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's that?", pointing to a small part of his anatomy.
He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night."
She, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?"
Fill someone's hair-dryer with baby powder.
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Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.
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Pull on a coworker is to press ctrl+print screen on their workstation, then paste it into Paint, save the pic, and set it as the desktop background.
Move all of their icons to the trash.
When they get back to their desk, clicking won't accomplish anything!
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Place a pair of pants and shoes inside the only toilet stall in a rest room to make it appear someone is using it all day.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
I just recently discovered that there is a national holiday named after Atheism. April FOOLS day. Like this story in the name of Jesus.
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Paint a bar of soap completely with clear nail polish so it won't suds up.
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