What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home?
"Where on Earth have you been?!"
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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
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Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2
I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69.
And she said, "No, but I have done 53 that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."
Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right?
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That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray?
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The teacher had given the class an assignment.
He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family.
A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland?
A: Nerdic.
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