Two cannibals are eating an atheist, and one says to the other, "Can you believe the way this guy tastes?"
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
Q: Did you hear about the the evangelical atheist? A: She went door to door with a book full of blank pages.
What did the potato chip say to the battery? If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a subway she mistook the train for a sandwich and ate it.
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
Q: What is an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? A: "Coincidence on 34th Street"
General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?" "Very well trained, Peter." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says: "James! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As James ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Pollock and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers.