Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer?
A: "You have a hole in one."
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"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?"
"That's right, Sir."
"So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?"
"That was my dentist."
Vote:
Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?
A month later he was picking his teeth.
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.
The Lamaze class was in full swing.
The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher.
Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
"Yes?" asked the instructor.
"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
A sailor and a priest were playing golf.
The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "F**k, I missed."
Surprised, the priest replied, "Don’t use that kind of language or god will punish you."
The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot.
Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I f**k’n missed again."
The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don’t use that language or god will punish you."
The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn’t help mutter, "Oh f**k" The priest said, "That’s it god will certainly punish you."
Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest.
In the distance a deep voice said, "F**K, I Missed."
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment?
A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!
Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A: A bad golfer goes *Whack!* "Darn!", but a bad skydiver goes "Darn!" *WHACK!*
Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that unfortunate incident with the dinosaurs.
Vote:
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.
Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.
The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."
The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.
"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.
"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup" the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.
The retiree replied, "Oh great!
NOW you tell me!"
Vote:
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.
"I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want no vacaine because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said.
"Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way."
The dentist was quite impressed.
"You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said.
"Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."