Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer?
A: "You have a hole in one."
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Two Reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:
Firstly, the DNA all matches and secondly, there are no dental records.
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9- Iron".
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. "Ribbit. 9-Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong. He puts his other club away, and grabs a 9-iron. Boom! he hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked!
He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog replies "Ribbit. Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit. 3-wood."
The guy takes out a 3-wood, and boom! A hole in one.
The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man has golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit. Roulette."
Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. $3000,black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck. Boom - tons of cash come sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit, Kiss Me."
He figures, Why not? After all the frog did for him, it is a small price to pay. With the kiss, however, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room."
"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?"
"That's right, Sir."
"So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?"
"That was my dentist."
Vote:
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.
"I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want no vacaine because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said.
"Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way."
The dentist was quite impressed.
"You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said.
"Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
One night, a couple is in the bed and the husband smoothly caresses their wife's arm... the wife is turned and she tells him:
I'm sorry but I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow and I want to be fresh.
The husband, rejected, turns back to his bed side and tries to sleep...
Some minutes later it turns again and it uncovers her wife again, he whispers to her:
Have you an appointment with the dentist tomorrow too?
Jesus is the son of God.
God is the son of Chuck Norris.
Vote:
A pregnant lady learns from her dentist that she needs a root canal.
She says to the dentist, "darn ... I'd just as soon give birth as have a root canal".
The dentist replies, "well, make up your mind so I know what position to put the chair in".
Vote:
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house.
Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m.
As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you.
I've been having an affair with my secretary.
I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"
Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons:
A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man.
The old woman comes to the busman and tells him: "Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?"
The busman says: "Yes, why not?"
He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them.
This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman:
"Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full."
The old woman only says: "You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have sucked them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."