Q: Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?
A: Dracula's dentist.
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"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?"
"That's right, Sir."
"So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?"
"That was my dentist."
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In the courtroom where I worked as a court reporter, a dentist was called as a witness.
He took the oath a few feet from my desk, and I noticed his upraised arm was trembling, apparently from nervousness.
After he finished, I couldn't resist saying softly, "Sit down, Doctor. This won't hurt a bit."
They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.
Q: What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?
A: He braces himself.
Q: Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?
A: He was already taking out a tooth.
I was on a train and this woman opposite looked at me and said "Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place..."
I asked "Are you single?"
She replied "No, I'm a dentist."
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels.
He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldn't prove it.
He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin.
Time after time the auditor stopped the bloke, made him remove the tarpaulin and then inspected the load.
On every occasion, there was only scrap metal in the truck which the driver said he was taking to the tip.
On three occasions the auditor made the bloke remove the tarpaulin and then unload the scrap in front of him, suspecting that there might be stolen stock hidden underneath.
Nothing.
He could never find anything amiss.
After a few months of this, the auditor was offered a better job elsewhere and resigned.
A few weeks later he was drinking in a pub when the shifty character walked in. On an impulse, the auditor went up to him and said, "Look, I've left the company, I'm not interested in taking it any further and I won't stop you, but I just have to know. What were you taking?"
And the bloke said "Tarpaulins."
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Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles...
See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles...
See 83 errors, pitches computer.