Joke #3450

How did the blonde die icefishing? She got run over by the zamboni!
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: sport

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How about we march into your red zone and I'll split the uprights? High five!
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has 9.09 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: sport
A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?" The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through." He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that! Shame on you!" The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole. Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.
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has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport
There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks. No one finished it. Why? Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick. It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
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has 35.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, sport
Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year old white male and resident of Wimbledon UK, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Bloggs will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that after a night of drinking, as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail. Bloggs went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, poked a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Bloggs apparently failed to notice the Wimbledon Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer B.T. approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure." said Officer BT. "I walked up to (Bloggs) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin". BT went on to describe what happened when she approached Bloggs: "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me, sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised as you'd expect and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?'"
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has 65.11 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, dirty, sport, time
Why are black people so good at Basketball? Cause all you have to do is RUN, SHOOT and STEAL.
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has 77.25 % from 3281 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, sport
A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer." Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better." The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."
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has 68.02 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: doctor, game, soccer, sport
Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with disappointments.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: sport
At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41." So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: sport
They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer. It was to keep his teeth in.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
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has 63.32 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: bible, sport