Joke #3023

Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website? Because they couldnt put three W's in a row.

Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.

So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.

Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´ A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!

What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis

Son: "What's love juice daddy?" Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?" Son: "Wimbledon."

James and Neil were fortunate enough to have a season ticket to watch Manchester United. They could not help noticing that there was always a spare seat next (A16) to them and they had a friend who would love to buy a season ticket, especially if all three could have seats together. One half-time Neil went to the ticket office and asked if they could buy the season ticket for A16. The official said that unfortunately the ticket had been sold. Nevertheless, week after week the seat was still empty. Then on Boxing day, much to James and Neil's amazement the seat was taken for the first time that season. Neil could not resist asking the newcomer, 'Where have you been all season'. 'Don't ask' he said, 'the wife bought the season ticket back last summer, and kept it for a surprise Christmas present.'

A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox." "Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too." "That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?" "No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"

Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."