Joke #11513

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: management, prison

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Gilding the lily is a job seeker's birthright. Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed: - to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying. - to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin. - to be a Nobel Prize winner. - to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time. - he was fired "on accident."
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, prison, stupid, work
Me driving by a Taco Bell. Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Two weeks later: Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Background Checks Required.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: food, management, mean
Q: Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window? A: Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: dentist, prison
A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks. For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from Phantom of the opera. "When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly "we’re going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune." Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate. At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moonwalking. "What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender. In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper The edmonton sun, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe. "Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are everywhere."
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, music, prison, work
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: IT, management
A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released tonight."
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has 55.49 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, prison, wife
There's 1000 black guys and 1 white guy. What do you call the white guy? Warden.
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has 69.08 % from 1157 votes. More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, white people
What do you call a black guy that doesn't rape white women? An inmate.
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has 50.86 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: black people, prison, racist
Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, insulting, management, office, stupid
Judge: "You are sentenced to 2 years of solitary confinement" Me: "Thank you."
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, prison, time