Joke #11513

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: management, prison

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Gilding the lily is a job seeker's birthright. Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed: - to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying. - to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin. - to be a Nobel Prize winner. - to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time. - he was fired "on accident."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, prison, stupid, work
The fastest, most effective way to learn about servant leadership is to take a puppy for a walk.
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has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: dog, management
Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested? A: For fingering a minor.
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: music, prison, teacher, vulgar
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
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has 30.62 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, prison
Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and... Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We await your direction.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: IT, management, money, time
You might be a redneck if a police officer pulls you over to ask for your driver's license and your address is the county jail.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: cop, driving, prison, redneck
The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball. The game of choice for frontline workers is football. The game of choice for middle management is tennis. The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf. Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.
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has 78.47 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: dirty, game, management
How did the black guy escape from jail? He unscrewed the light bulbs.
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has 66.26 % from 307 votes. More jokes about: black people, light bulb, prison, racist
My boss is in the process of filling an open manager position. I asked him to please hire a man because women are crazy. He agreed with me. I got upset that he agreed. I'm pretty sure I unintentionally proved my point.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, mean, women, work
Three guys are arrested in an adult book store and appear before the judge. He asks the first guy to stand: "What is your name?" he asked. "John," the guy answered. "And why were you arrested?" the judge asked. "I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered. The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the guy and called up the next one. "What's your name?" he asked. "John," the guy answered. "Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked. "I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered. Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, 'This so-called adult store is begining to sound more like a smoking club!' he thought. So he dismissed the charge and called up the next guy. "What's your name?? No wait, let me guess; John." he said. "No," said the guy, "My name is Smoke."
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has 76.83 % from 1001 votes. More jokes about: gay, lawyer, prison