Joke #11513

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: management, prison

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Gilding the lily is a job seeker's birthright. Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed: - to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying. - to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin. - to be a Nobel Prize winner. - to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time. - he was fired "on accident."
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, prison, stupid, work
Me driving by a Taco Bell. Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Two weeks later: Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Background Checks Required.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, management, mean
One day, Hitler decided to test out the skills of several prisoners in Treblinka. As the first test, he had his soldiers bring him out the three prisoners, then line them up before him. "How high can you jump?" he asks the first one. "About 1 meter," answers the prisoner. Hitler nodded before turning to his soldier. "Take this one back to work, but give him 1 kilogram of rye bread." After the soldier did as he was told, Hitler stood before the second prisoner. "How high can you jump?" he asks again. After a moment of thinking, the prisoner says. "Two meters, if I really try." Hitler nodded before turning to his soldier again. "Take this one back to work too, but give him two kilograms of rye bread." Observing this, the third prisoner did the maths and hatched a plan. Finally, Hitler stood face to face with him. "How high can you jump?" he asked him at last prisoner. "My most illustrious Führer, I can jump 5 meters!" said the prisoner as a smug grin bloomed on his face. Hitler frowned before turning to his soldier. "Tell me, Walter: how tall are the walls around the camp?" "Three meters, my Führer!" cried the soldier. Hitler nodded again before turning to the last prisoner. "In that case, shoot this one: he may become a problem in the future."
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has 76.08 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: Hitler, military, prison, time, work
There are two essential rules to management. First, the customer is always right. Second, they must be punished for their arrogance.
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has 81.40 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: customer service, management, mean
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
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has 76.68 % from 272 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!
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has 54.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when her boss told her to take her ugly ass home, she came back 10 minutes later without her ass.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: management, stupid, time, ugly, Yo mama
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: computer, internet, IT, prison, time
The fastest, most effective way to learn about servant leadership is to take a puppy for a walk.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: dog, management
The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir." "What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, mean, office, phone