Joke #13911

Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes? A: 12 pirates.
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has 65.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: mean, pirate

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A man married an illiterate wife. After two years of marriage, they gave birth to a son called EFe. One day his mother asked him to read is multiplication table and he started immediately but when he reached 4multiply by 4 he mistakingly said 8 they mother angrily slapped him and told him the answer wasn't 8 but 44. The boy cried and reported what happened to the father, the father took him back and angrily told the wife to tell him the correct answer and the woman hurriedly say 4mutiply by 4 is it not 44. The man now calmed down and sai d u are Lucky that you got the answer if not I would have disgraced you here. I hope they are all brilliant.
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has 22.39 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, kids, marriage, mean
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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has 24.97 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: christian, Chuck Norris, mean
I was wondering why air is so polluted. Then I remembered people saying "Love is in the air". Now it makes sense.
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has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: love, mean
An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels. He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldn't prove it. He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin. Time after time the auditor stopped the bloke, made him remove the tarpaulin and then inspected the load. On every occasion, there was only scrap metal in the truck which the driver said he was taking to the tip. On three occasions the auditor made the bloke remove the tarpaulin and then unload the scrap in front of him, suspecting that there might be stolen stock hidden underneath. Nothing. He could never find anything amiss. After a few months of this, the auditor was offered a better job elsewhere and resigned. A few weeks later he was drinking in a pub when the shifty character walked in. On an impulse, the auditor went up to him and said, "Look, I've left the company, I'm not interested in taking it any further and I won't stop you, but I just have to know. What were you taking?" And the bloke said "Tarpaulins."
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: accountant, communication, mean, time, work
Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food? A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: food, parrot, pirate
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
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has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: pirate, sport
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
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has 67.39 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, pirate
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis. The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?" And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
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has 60.93 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, pirate
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."
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has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, flirt, mean, wife
Q: How many white people does it take to clean a toilet? A: None, that's a nigger's job.
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has 31.15 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: black people, mean, racist, white people, work