Q: Why did Hitler hate golf?
A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
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Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream.
Q: You know what would make America great again?
A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.
Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A: A bad golfer goes *Whack!* "Darn!", but a bad skydiver goes "Darn!" *WHACK!*
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together.
One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?"
"I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man.
He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights.
He then asks the man where he lives.
Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding."
"You got a silver compact and a red pickup?"
"The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck."
The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom."
"I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls."
The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot."
"I don't care! Just do it!"
The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.
Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
Chuck Norris just completed a full round of Golf... In 17 shots.
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Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters?
A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist?
A: Cool music!
Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram
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