Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Two friends run into each other while walking their dogs. One suggests lunch. The other says, "They won't let us in a restaurant with pets." Undeterred, the first guy and his German shepherd head into the restaurant. The maître d' stops them, saying, "Sir, you can't bring your dog in here." "But I'm blind," the man replies, "and this is my guide dog." The maître d', apologizing profusely, shows both man and dog to a table. His friend waits five minutes, then tries the same routine. "You have a Chihuahua for a guide dog?" the skeptical maître d' says. "A Chihuahua?" the man says. "Is that what they gave me?"
Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me. Look how time files!
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Yo mama so ugly when she looked at the sun, it turned nighttime.
Big inspection on a build site/yard. The boss tells the workers : what ever happens just act as usual. The inspection committee were inspecting when a wall just colapses. -(Worker looking at his watch) : 10:15, just on time
Kind of surprised hipsters haven't started tying their beard's in man buns yet.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.