Joke #11895

Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.

Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die? A: Trying to cross the mainstream!

A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"

Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.

Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway? A: Because its underground.

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.

Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant, what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision.

There was a trucker riding along on a highway, While riding he sees a priest on the side of the road sticking his thumb out trying to catch a ride. So out of curtisy the trucker stops and picks up the priest. They start chatting and having a good time. On the way they see a homeless person on the side of the street. The truckers veers off and hits the homeless person. *bu-dump* the trucker sees homeless person,*bu-dump* the driver who is laughing histerically wasn't watching the road and there was another bu-dump, The driver immediatly stops and looks around nervous."what was that?" he looks at the priest and the priest looks back. "You missed a homeless guy, but don't worry I got him with the door."

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.