Joke #11895

Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: hipster, time

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Q: How do you drown a hipster? A: In the mainstream.
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Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet? A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
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Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
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The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
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Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!
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Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession? A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: An instagram
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What is it? Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one. Madonna doesn’t have one. The Pope has one but doesn’t use it. Clinton uses his all the time. Bush is one. Mickey Mouse has an unusual one. Liberace never used his on women. Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his. Cher claims that she took on 3. We never saw Lucy use Desi’s. What is it? The answer is: "A Last Name..." You didn’t think I’d tell you a dirty joke, did you?
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Three old men were sitting around talking about who had the worst health problems. The seventy-year-old said, "Have I got a problem. Every morning I get up at 7:30 and have to take a piss, but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour 'cause my pee barely trickles out." "Heck, that's nothing, " said the eighty year old. "Every morning at 8:30 I have to take a shit, but I have to sit on the can for hours because of my constipation. It's terrible". The ninety-year-old said, "You guys think you have problems! Every morning at 7:30 I piss like a racehorse, and at 8:30 I shit like a pig. The trouble with me is, I don't wake up till eleven."
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has 78.00 % from 452 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, time