Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion?
A: It was too current.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.
I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
Q: Why did Hitler hate golf?
A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.
He gets in, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
The passenger asks "Who?"
The cabbie says "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time."
Passenger: "Yeah. But there are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie says "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, danced like a Broadway star, and you should have heard him play the piano."
The passenger replies "Sounds like he was something really special"
Cab driver responds "There's more... he had a mind like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out."
Passenger: "Wow, some incredible guy"
The cabbie goes "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me. I always seem to get stuck in them."
"Passenger: "Mmm, there's not many like him around."
Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. And he's never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank."
Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?"
Cabbie: "I married his fucking widow..."
Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth?
A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.
Vote:
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future.
The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class?
A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.