Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion?
A: It was too current.
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Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class?
A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful.
As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years."
Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
A man and woman were celebrating their 50 year anniversary.
That night, the woman comes out of the bathroom completely naked and looks at her husband who is already in bed.
She says, "Honey, 50 years ago tonight, when I came out of the bathroom with no clothes on, what were you thinking?"
He said, "I was thinking that I wanted to suck your titties dry and fuck you until you couldn’t think straight."
She smiled at him and said, "So what are you thinking now?"
He said, "I think I did a pretty good job!"
Patient: "I have spent 80% of my life’s savings on doctors."
Doctor: "Why didn’t you come to me earlier?"
The world ends on December 21st, 2012.
Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet?
A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
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Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend years at C!
Q: Why did the hipster float down the tributary?
A: Because the river was too mainstream.
How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's?
The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
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