Joke #11895

Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
Vote:
has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: hipster, time

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Vote:
has 52.10 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, Chuck Norris, time
Q: Why did the hipster float down the tributary? A: Because the river was too mainstream.
Vote:
has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: hipster
Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: hipster, love, winter
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
Vote:
has 27.58 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: hipster, light bulb, mean
The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself. He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?" The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!" The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!" The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the Air Force?" The young man says, "I chop wood!" "Son," the general replies, "we don't need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?" "I chop wood!" "Young man," huffs the general, "you are not listening to me, we don't need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!" "Well," the young man says, "you hired my brother!" "Of course we did," says the general, "he's a pilot!" The young man rolls his eyes and says, "So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!"
Vote:
has 76.72 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: air force, military, time, work
Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth? A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: hipster, phone
What is it? Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one. Madonna doesn’t have one. The Pope has one but doesn’t use it. Clinton uses his all the time. Bush is one. Mickey Mouse has an unusual one. Liberace never used his on women. Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his. Cher claims that she took on 3. We never saw Lucy use Desi’s. What is it? The answer is: "A Last Name..." You didn’t think I’d tell you a dirty joke, did you?
Vote:
has 75.93 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, time
Hipsters hate rivers. Too mainstream.
Vote:
has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: hipster
A deer hunter asked his Pastor if it was a sin to hunt on Sunday. "From what I hear about your aim," said the Pastor, "It's a sin for you to hunt anytime."
Vote:
has 70.78 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: death, hunting, priest, religious, time
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Vote:
has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: food, hipster