Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth?
A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
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Q: Why did the hipster float down the tributary?
A: Because the river was too mainstream.
Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway?
A: Because its underground.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream.
I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.
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Q: Why did Hitler hate golf?
A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor askes her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead of the phone.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other."
"The bastard called again"