Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth?
A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
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Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway?
A: Because its underground.
Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream.
What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge?
Cool music.
A guy tells his friends:
The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
Vote:
There's a senior citizen driving on the highway.
His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "George, be careful!
I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 110!"
George says, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"
Yo mamma so stupid she tried to eat her iPhone because it had an apple on it!
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!”
“How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”
Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book."
Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as Aircraft mechanics in Melbourne.
One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Dave said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed.
The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.
In fact he feels GREAT!
NO hangover!
NO bad side effects.
Nothing!
Then the phone rings.
It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Dave says, "I feel great, how about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Dave says, "No that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing."
"What's that?"
"Have you farted yet?"
"No."
"Well, DON'T! 'Cause I'm in Perth!"
Q: Why did Hitler hate golf?
A: Because he ended up in the bunker.