Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.
A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States." The receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?" Redneck: "Why, is it required?"
Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? A: From trying to blow out light bulbs.
Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections? A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!
Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year? A: They couldn't find the three wise men!
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen? The first one would say its causing global warming. The second one would say its racist. The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.
There were four people on a plane. One of them, the Pilot. The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy. The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump! But there were only three parachutes. The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute." And he jumped off. Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!" And he jumps. The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man. The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway." The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"
A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?" Pres says "You think we’re stupid boy?" "We made copies of all the receipts!"