Joke #11637

Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."
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I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me: "Are you alone?" So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone." "So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl. I fainted...
Vote: has 79.60 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
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Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
Vote: has 78.01 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
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My girlfriend told me that will change me. I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
Vote: has 77.64 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
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Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
Vote: has 73.80 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
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5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
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Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what." Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready." Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave." Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know." Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you." Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does." Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry." Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red." Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going." Her: "I'm really on my period." Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
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'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
Vote: has 77.76 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
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Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?
Vote: has 72.09 % from 530 votes. Send joke:
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Me: "Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know." Waiter: "I asked if you were dining alone." Me: "Oh, sorry. Yes."
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
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A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
Vote: has 74.15 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
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