Me: "I'm so lonely."
Person: "Hey!"
Me: "Leave me alone."
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
Vote:
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
Vote:
I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me:
"Are you alone?"
So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone."
"So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl.
I fainted...
Vote:
My girlfriend told me that will change me.
I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
Vote:
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
Vote:
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
Me: "Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know."
Waiter: "I asked if you were dining alone."
Me: "Oh, sorry. Yes."
Vote:
One morning I called my girlfriend and his father picked "Hello who are you?"
I heard that heavy voice and quickly replied a while "hey Eric where are you the choir is about to begin?"
"What choir?" he asked.
"Come on Eric stop kidding around and get your ass over here" the father then replied
"Sorry am not Eric and I don't know what you are talking about I am dr Stephen" he said.
I then said "oh sorry I must have misdialled"
I then hang up and decided I am never gonna call that girl again...
Vote:
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
My girlfriend said she wanted a perfect holiday, so I had to stay home!
Vote: