Joke #11687

5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
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Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."
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Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.
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Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
Vote: has 76.01 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

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What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
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One morning I called my girlfriend and his father picked "Hello who are you?" I heard that heavy voice and quickly replied a while "hey Eric where are you the choir is about to begin?" "What choir?" he asked. "Come on Eric stop kidding around and get your ass over here" the father then replied "Sorry am not Eric and I don't know what you are talking about I am dr Stephen" he said. I then said "oh sorry I must have misdialled" I then hang up and decided I am never gonna call that girl again...
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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.   After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine's Day.
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Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
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If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
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Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Thomas replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother." A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" Thomas replied, "My father doesn't like her."
Vote: has 88.66 % from 597 votes. Send joke:

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