Joke #11677

Q: What do you call money that grows on trees? A: Marijuana

You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.

I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.

Applying for a job, a new lawyer was asked if paying back his law school tuition would be any special problem. He replied that he paid it back right after his first case. When asked how he managed that, he said, "Well, my dad sued me for it and won."

A Navy man walks into a bar, gives the bartender a conspiratorial wink and says, "Quick, pour me a drink, before the trouble starts." The bartender pours a drink and watches as the Sailor downs it in one gulp. The Sailor slams the glass down on the bar and says, "Quick, give me another one before the trouble starts." The bartender pours another glass and the Sailor drinks it as quickly as he had the first. The Sailor pauses, lets out a belch and demands a third drink 'before the trouble starts.' After several rounds of this, the bartender says, "Look Sailor, you've been talking about trouble for ten minutes. Just when is this 'trouble' going to start?" The sailor looks at the bartender and grins. "The trouble starts just as soon as you figure out that I don't have any money."

Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said "Hey miss, lost a shoe?" She said, "Nope, just found one!"

There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"

I married my wife for her money. And believe me, I’ve earned it.

Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? A: Drug Abuse.

Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!

What do you call an Asian billionare. Cha Ching.