Q: What do you call money that grows on trees?
A: Marijuana
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.
Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed?
A: You can't smoke too much weed.
Discussion between two future lawyers:
I don’t understand why they rejected me!
I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients.
What did you tell them?
I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands!
You’re hands?
What do you mean?
Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...
‘Why don’t oysters give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.’
Jay Leno
Q: How did the sand get wet?
A: The sea weed!
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents.
Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean?
The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'
Police Officer: "How high are you?"
Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"
Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor?
A: Drug Abuse.
Why is money green?
Because people usually pick it before it's ripe!
A Navy man walks into a bar, gives the bartender a conspiratorial wink and says, "Quick, pour me a drink, before the trouble starts."
The bartender pours a drink and watches as the Sailor downs it in one gulp.
The Sailor slams the glass down on the bar and says, "Quick, give me another one before the trouble starts."
The bartender pours another glass and the Sailor drinks it as quickly as he had the first.
The Sailor pauses, lets out a belch and demands a third drink 'before the trouble starts.'
After several rounds of this, the bartender says, "Look Sailor, you've been talking about trouble for ten minutes. Just when is this 'trouble' going to start?"
The sailor looks at the bartender and grins. "The trouble starts just as soon as you figure out that I don't have any money."