Joke #11677

Q: What do you call money that grows on trees? A: Marijuana
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You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.
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Christian Doctor: "Your recovery was a miracle!" Christian Patient: "Thank God! Now I don't have to pay you."
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Visitor: You're very quiet, Jennifer. Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.
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Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed? A: Han So-high
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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
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Harry applies for a job at a finance company, the manager tells him the job is his if he can crack their toughest account. Harry goes off and comes back two hours later having recovered the entire amount. ‘Amazing!’ says the manager. ‘How did you do it?’ ‘Easy,’ replies Harry. ‘I said that if he didn’t pay us, I’d tell all his other creditors he had.’
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Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? A: Drug Abuse.
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Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!
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Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
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Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.
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