Joke #11783

You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.

Q: What do you call money that grows on trees? A: Marijuana

Yo' Mama is so poor, she only goes to the grocery store for free samples.

What’s the difference between an insurance company actuary and a Mafia actuary? An insurance company actuary can tell you how many people will die this year, a Mafia actuary can name them.

Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.

Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.

Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"

Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed? A: Han So-high

A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!". She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river. Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise? The second blonde replies, " They didn't last year."

I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.

I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.