You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.
Q: What do you call money that grows on trees? A: Marijuana
Harry’s so cheap, he didn’t buy his wife a pearl necklace, he got her a length of string and told her to start a collection.
Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? A: Because they're all in high school
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
Q: How did the sand get wet? A: The sea weed!
Yo mama so poor when i went to her house and picked up a paper plate she yelled "Not my good china!"
Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad? A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!
If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up