Joke #11676

Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? A: Because they're all in high school

I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.

Yo mama so short when she smokes weed, she cant even get high.

"Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy. "Why not, son?" "Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day." "But why don't you want to go today?" "Because our English teacher died yesterday!"

The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."

In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language. My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.

Q: How do all stoner stories start? A: This one time when I was high...

Me: "I only smoke weed because of Cancer." Mom: "You don't have Cancer!" Me: "So it's working..."

Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.

Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.

What is the longest word in the English language? Smiles: there is a mile between the first and last letters!