Joke #11680

Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
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has 67.09 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: air force, school, terrorist, war

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What to do if you fall into a conversation with someone about the terrorist attacks who doesn't believe in retaliation: 1. Engage in conversation, and ask if military force is appropriate. 2. When he says "No," ask, "Why not?" 3. Wait until he says something to the effect of "Because that would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence." 4. When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can. 5. When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would be awful and he should not cause more violence. 6. Wait until he agrees, and has pledged not to commit additional violence. 7. Punch him in the face again, harder this time. 8. Repeat steps 5 through 8 until he understands that sometimes it is necessary to punch back.
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has 79.38 % from 420 votes. More jokes about: military, terrorist, vulgar, war
One night my mother in law came to our home. In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC. She farted. I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"
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has 69.69 % from 438 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, mother in law, terrorist, war
Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team? A: The New York Jets.
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has 62.07 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: air force, black humor, ethnic, football, terrorist
At school, a soldier spoke to Johnny's class. Johnny felt enthusiastic about joining the military, so he went home and told his dad. To his surprise, this was the biggest step forward in his life, so his dad decided to explain the military to him. "Son, I'll teach you what you need to know about the military. The Army and Navy are the only two REAL branches of our military. The Marine Corps is a cult. The Coast Guard is playing a game called 'Pretend Navy Since 1915'." So Johnny asks his dad, "what about the Air Force?" Johnny's dad explained to him, "well son, the Air Force is like a giant corporation. Just a bunch of people sitting at desks playing Flight Simulator and bullshitting with each other." By that time, Johnny was amazed and decided he wanted to join the military, but wanted to know what his daddy did. "What did you do in the military, dad?" "Well son, I spoke Chinese and shot at the Americans in Vietnam."
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: air force, little Johnny, military, navy, school
Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?" Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"
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has 32.65 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: phone, school, teacher, war
When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
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has 80.73 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, war
An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The Canadian said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible, Canadians always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."
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has 85.65 % from 781 votes. More jokes about: age, airplane, old people, travel, war
After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents.
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: air force, computer, money, phone, wife
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, school, Yo mama
I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.
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has 73.86 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: birthday, music, party, terrorist