What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos.
An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.