Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? A: He got Avogadro's number!
Q: Why did the Energizer cell go to court? A: For charges of battery.
Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.
Going to war without the French is like going hunting without your accordion.
An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas. Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!" The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week." The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For hispanic attacks.