Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
Yo mama farts so much there is a reason why Jupiter is made out of gas.
"Hey what's up?" "Nothing much.. converting Oxygen into Carbon dioxide." "How the hell do you do that?!" "Breathing... Dude."
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A: One molar solution.
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
Without you I can't breath. I love you so much my nose.
Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's side. "Sleep now, it's all right," he told her. But she kept trying to sit up and said, "Honey, I really need to tell you something." Finally Jake let her get it off her chest. "Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father." "Don't worry about it," Jake said, "I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"