Joke #11725

Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
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has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, life

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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has 79.95 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, life, love, nerd
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
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has 79.17 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, Chuck Norris, death, life
The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt. As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest. Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger. The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground meat and pressed it into a perfect patty in his armpit. Shocked an bewildered, the health inspector called for the manager and explained the gravity of the deplorable conditions he had seen. "That's nothing," replied the manager, "You should come back at five in the morning when he makes the donuts!"
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, health, life
Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
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has 77.75 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, death, nerd
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
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has 75.77 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, science, winter
My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
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has 67.62 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, disgusting, fart, mother in law, war
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sport
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it." The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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has 78.22 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, nerd
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
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has 66.81 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, military, science
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
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has 84.04 % from 708 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, chemistry, death, little Johnny, school