Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-.
These are also Chuck Norris' initials.
This is not a coincidence.
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Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
Life is like a box of chocolates:
A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.