Joke #11725

Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!

A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and applause. A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home during a small party. He was a bit foggy after having a drink or two. He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!" The wife went red with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, with the guests not saying a word, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"

A: What does "IDK" mean? B: I don't know. A: Ugh! Nobody does!

Little Johnny was a chemist. Little Johnny is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist? A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

I'm tired 8 days a week.

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"