Joke #11731

I would make a science joke but all the good ones ARGON.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: science

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We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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has 50.16 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, science
Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
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has 58.99 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: beer, men, political, science, women
If you weigh 78kg on earth you will weigh 13kg on the moon. If Chuck Norris weighs 78kg on earth, the moon weighs 13kg on Chuck Norris.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe." But what does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
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has 85.30 % from 784 votes. More jokes about: friendship, life, science, stupid, wine
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
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has 57.62 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, chemistry, science
Did you hear about the homosexual electron? Went around blowing fuses.
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has 56.17 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: gay, science
Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
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has 58.34 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Yo mama so fat she was the comet that destroyed dusty depot.
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has 58.87 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: fat, science, Yo mama
A married couple was walking down the street when an alien spacecraft landed in front of them. A married alien couple walked out and said, "Hello, earthlings, we come in peace. We are scientists from the planet GRUDO-X and we want you to tell us all about your planet." So they talked for hours, until they came to the subject of sex. The humans told the aliens how humans have sex and the aliens were in shock! It was very similar to the way the aliens did it. The men in the group decided to have a little experiment with switching wives for a night. When the human woman saw the alien man undress, she immediately laughed at his "thing." The alien looked down and said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot." And he hit his head twice and "it" grew at least two feet. The woman said "Wow! That's impressive, but I could snap that thing if I wanted to." So the alien pulled his ears twice and it expanded. The two had the greatest sex of their lives. The next morning the human man came for his wife and asked, "How was it?" The wife replied, "Great!" The man said, "Well, for some strange reason thealien woman kept jumping on me, pulling my ears and hitting me on the head, screaming, "It's broken! It's broken!"
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has 70.68 % from 605 votes. More jokes about: marriage, science, sex