Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.