Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of heaven, St. Peter wouldn’t let him in until he proved his identity. Einstein scribbled out a couple of his equations, and was admitted into paradise. And when Picasso died, St. Peter asked, “How do I know you’re Picasso?” Picasso sketched out a couple of his masterpieces. St. Peter was convinced and let him in. When George W. Bush died, he went to heaven and met the man at the gates. “How can you prove to me you’re George W. Bush?” Saint Peter said. Bush replied, “Well heck, I don’t know.” St. Peter says, “Well, Albert Einstein showed me his equations and Picasso drew his famous pictures. What can you do to prove you’re George W. Bush?” Bush replies, “Who are Albert Einstein and Picasso?” St. Peter says, “It must be you, George, c’mon on in.”
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man, hes' known as Super Man.
Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.