As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up:
Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide.
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that."
Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him.
The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
Vote:
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water.
The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.
He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass.
It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died.
"Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.
Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
Vote:
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2
Little Johnny was a chemist.
Little Johnny is no more.
What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
Vote: