Joke #11756

As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up: Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
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Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
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Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? A: He got Avogadro's number!
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Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A: One molar solution.
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Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
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Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle? A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
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