Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence.
After a while he asks surprised:
Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs?
Because I used only one leg for the stock.
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What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?
If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Which rabbits were famous bank robbers?
Bunny and Clyde.
A man goes into a pub with a cat sitting on his head.
The barman pulls him a pint and says,‘Look I don’t know if you know it but there’s a cat sitting on your head.’
‘What of it?’ asks the man.‘I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday.’
‘But today’s Tuesday,’ replies the barman.
‘Oh God.Is it?’ says the man. ‘I must look a right prat.’
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger?
The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
Ortoise: How does he smell?
Gemma: Awful!