Joke #11819

Me: "I'm finally happy!" Life: "Lol, wait a sec."
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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London. The waiter tells them, "Excuse me if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease." The Texan says, "What's a shortage?" The Russian says, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"
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Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot. Everyone can catch cold.
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Baby, baby, baby ooh! Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
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Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
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What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
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Too stupid to understand science? Try religion!
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Do you know the joke of "no me neither"? No. Me neither.
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A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitress's there have low cut blouses and nice breasts. 10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also. 10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free. 10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator. 10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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