Joke #11819

Me: "I'm finally happy!" Life: "Lol, wait a sec."
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Life Lemons Saying: White Guy: When Life gives you lemons enjoy them with friends. Black Guy: When Life gives you lemons sell them, buy a gun, point it at life and say "More lemons mother Fucker".
Vote: has 77.86 % from 287 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, racist
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas. Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!" The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week." The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
Vote: has 84.24 % from 170 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, fart, life, work
Paddy got a job as a road line-painter. He paints 5 miles on the first day, 2 miles on the second day and 1 on the third day. "You get worse and worse every day!" yelled his boss. "That is because the bucket gets further and further away every day." said Paddy.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, life, old people, sex, viagra
I went to blockbusters last night and asked if I could borrow Batman Forever. The bloke at the counter said, "NO you have to bring it back tomorrow!"
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
What is Jehovah's wiseness favorite band? The Doors.
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, life, music, religious
Can I help you? No. I just waited in the line for 30 minutes to say Hi.
Vote: has 76.66 % from 113 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life. “Hey Roadway driver, who are the two biggest fags in America?” comes from the CB. The Roadway driver replies, “I don’t know.” The other trucker says ” You and your brother.” Well the Roadway driver gets annoyed but the other driver tells him “It’s just a joke – tell it to the next truck you see.” Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour and finally sees another truck. He gets on the CB and says “Hey other truck, do you know who the two biggest fags in the world are?” The other trucker says, “I don’t know, who?” The roadway driver replies “Me and my brother.”
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, men
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade." "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?" "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
Vote: has 44.84 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, life