Joke #2535

A director’s wife hears that her husband has a new secretary. The director comes home and the wife starts putting questions: Does this new secretary of yours have nice legs? I don’t know. What color do her eyes have? I didn’t notice... But about dressing, how does she dress? Very fast...
Vote: has 80.45 % from 118 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A patient to his friend: "I am taking rest cure." Friend: "What do you do?" Patient: "I sit every day for three hours in the waiting room of a very busy doctor."
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, life
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: funeral, life
Q: Why is it good to have a Jewish car? A: It can stop on a dime, and pick it up for you too!
Vote: has 71.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, jewish, life
They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low." "Pick up bread. We be back." Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life
Q: Why did the Energizer cell go to court? A: For charges of battery.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, prison
An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in their home. "Just think," the old man says, "we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, naked as jaybirds, 50 years ago." "Well," the old lady snickers, "what do you say, should we get naked?" The two immediately strip to the buff and sit back down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady says slyly, "My breasts burn for you now as they did 50 years ago." "I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"
Vote: has 80.60 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, couple, life, time, wedding
Customer: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny." Waiter: "Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?"
Vote: has 54.87 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life
Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life
Vote: has 68.26 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
I went to blockbusters last night and asked if I could borrow Batman Forever. The bloke at the counter said, "NO you have to bring it back tomorrow!"
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his. They had not seen each other for many years so they had much to talk about and many old memories to renew. After some time, one said to the other, "If you don’t mind my saying so, you don’t look very good, you must have experienced some bad luck." "Yes," the other one said, "I have. You see this peg leg? Well, one day I was out on deck and my leg become dangled up in a loose line and it was so badly mangled that they had to take it off at the knee." His friend agreed that was bad luck. The other one continued. "You see I have a hook for a hand. One day I was out on deck when a shipmate of mine fell overboard. I leaned over as far as I could in a attempt to rescue him and as I extended my hand to him a shark took my hand off." "My, you really did experience bad luck, the other responded, I see you have a patch over one eye, What happened to your eye?" "Well, I was out on deck again one day and just as I looked up, a seagull that was flying over , unloaded, and got me right in the eye." "My, My,(not real sailor talk) did that take your eye out?" "No, that was the first day I had my hook."
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, animal, health, life