Joke #4783

Whats the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? One sells watches and one watches cells.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Work emails are like the gym. You sign up for it thinking it will be loads of fun. You get bored of it within hours. You only keep going to keep up your reputation. The more you stay away, the harder it is to go back.
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, gym, life, time, work
John: "Hey can I borrow some money? I'm broke." Michael: "Get money from your job." John: "I got fired." Michael: "Why?" John: "My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside." Michael: "This is why we are friends."
Vote:
has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: friendship, life, management, money, work
I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it.
Vote:
has 79.19 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: life
There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
Vote:
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, geography, life, technology, work
I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?" I said "Because he didn't die in real life"
Vote:
has 77.93 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, life, music
It's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's the fat.
Vote:
has 79.88 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: life
God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
Vote:
has 37.97 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god, life
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands: "Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son, Joshua. P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!"
Vote:
has 83.47 % from 903 votes. More jokes about: kids, life, relationship, school, vulgar
There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
Vote:
has 25.91 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, kids, life, marriage
What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag? Speed bumps.
Vote:
has 55.88 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: gay, life