Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely?
A: Playing Frisbee.
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Relationship status - table for one but drinks for two.
Q: What's the difference between a teabag and england?
A: The teabag stays in the cup longer!
A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
The husband said, "No sweetie."
The woman said, "I'm sure you would."
So the man said, "Okay, I would"
Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"
And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."
Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"
And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
How about we march into your red zone and I'll split the uprights?
High five!
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Thomas replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Thomas replied, "My father doesn't like her."
Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.
Vote:
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.