Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Bill Gates arrives at the port to heaven and hell. Petrus says: You see Bill, we don't know what to do with you. You may choose "heaven" or "hell". Bill peeks in heaven and sees a couple of old boring men sitting around at a table. Bill takes a look in hell and sees really beautiful women, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and most of all, gambling. So Bill says : I am a gambling man, I want to go to hell! Once in hell, Bill is immediately thrown into the fire. So Bill says : hey, what the hell is this, I saw all the gambling, the women, and sex? The devil says: 'That was just a demo version."
"Siri, why am I still single?" Siri activates front camera.
When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man. This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.
Billionaire Richard Branson has withdrawn from a sponsorship deal of Chesterfield Football Club. He stated that 'he couldnt have the name VIRGIN on the teams shirts ... when they get fucked every week !'
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
Did you hear about the small golf course? You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.