Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely?
A: Playing Frisbee.
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It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice.
He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty.
He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.
"No" says the neighbor.
"The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the man.
"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?"
The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me.
I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.
This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
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"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?"
"What"
"We're both ugly!"
Q:How do sport players stay cool in game?
A:They stay in front of some fans!
Me: "Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know."
Waiter: "I asked if you were dining alone."
Me: "Oh, sorry. Yes."
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What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate?
The ice.
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
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My girlfriend told me that will change me.
I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
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Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
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