Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work.
If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow alcohol.
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
Q: Why do hipsters love ice?
A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.
She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.
At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."
He ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."
Vote:
Q: Where do Snowmen go to dance?
A: To snowballs.
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
A: Snowballs.
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump.
"Well, go in the bushes."
"What should I use to wipe my ass?"
"Use a dollar bill."
A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands.
"What happened?" asks his friend.
"I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
Vote:
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter?
A: Long Johns!
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
A man comes home alone from work.
Suddenly he hears this voice saying: "Now its time to quit your job, sell your house, take your money and go to Las Vegas."
He doesn't pay much attention to it but after a week hearing the same voice, he thinks ok!
He quits his job, sells his house, withdraws all his money and goes to Vegas.
The moment he steps out of the plane the voice tells him "Find the nearest casino!"
He enters a casino and the voice says: " Go to the roulette-table and put all your money on 17 black!
He complies and the croupier spins the wheel and says "Rien ne va plus"
21 RED!
And then the voice goes "Damn!"