Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
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Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
Vote:
Yo mama farts so much there is a reason why Jupiter is made out of gas.
Yo mama so stupid when she pays her bills she gives pennies to her cash.
Why did the millionaire count his money with his toes?
So it wouldn't slip through his fingers!
Your families are extremely proud of you.
You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing.
This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
I lost 125 pounds.
It took me a long time, and it cost me a lot of money, but I finally divorced the bitch!
Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.?
A: Lazy.