Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
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Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up:
Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
Yo mama so poor, when I ring the door bell, she yells: DING DONG!
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
‘If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.’ Mark Twain
Your families are extremely proud of you.
You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing.
This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI