That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like. How do you do that? I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!
There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand? A: Thunder.