Joke #11884

Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.
Vote:
has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: phone, weed

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Every mobile phone user has complained like this: Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
Vote:
has 52.91 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
Me using the Siri app on my iPhone: Me: "Siri, call my wife." Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts." Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife." Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife." Me: "Call my wife." Siri: "Which wife?"
Vote:
has 77.05 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: communication, phone, stupid, technology, wife
Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone
Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
Vote:
has 57.59 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: poems, sex, vulgar, weed
Q: How do all stoner stories start? A: This one time when I was high...
Vote:
has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: time, weed
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, we have to be sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
Vote:
has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: death, hunting, phone
You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.
Vote:
has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: money, weed
2 girls meet: "Me & my husband are no longer together..." "Why?" "Well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?" "No, of course I couldn't!" "Well he couldn't either!"
Vote:
has 84.98 % from 225 votes. More jokes about: divorce, husband, weed, women, work
There was three guys a sex addict a weed addict and a alcoholic they all went to hell for their sin and was standing in front of the devil. The devil made a deal with them saying I will lock you in a room with what ever you did for a 1000 years and if you get over any of your sins I will send you back to the land of the living, Earth. So the sex addict got locked in a room full of virgins, the alcohol addict got locked in a room full of beer, the weed addict locked in a room full of weed. 1000 years later the Devil goes to the sex addict he comes out saying "Aww my dick hurts I'm never having sex again", poof back to earth. Open the alcoholic room and he say "Im never having beer", and gets sent back to Earth. Then the Devil opens the weed addicts room and the Weed addict punches the Devil in the face and says "you forgot my lighter bitch!"
Vote:
has 80.19 % from 410 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, sex, time, vulgar, weed
Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed? A: Man, this music sucks.
Vote:
has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: music, weed