Q: How do you know when you are stoned?
A: When you are too phoned to stone home.
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Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high
After a number of attempts to get the customer service agent on the phone to understand his name, my Asian American friend Appappa decided to spell it out.
"A for apple," he began. "P for pineapple, p for pineapple, a for apple, p for pineapple, p for—"
The flustered agent interrupted.
"I have a better idea," she said. "Just tell me how many apples and how many pineapples."
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Joke has 50.20 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: asian, communication, customer service, phone, stupid
A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world.
After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.
Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart.
He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple.
The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
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Q: How do all stoner stories start?
A: This one time when I was high...
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.
"Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
Yo momma so fat when she stepped on the scale it came up with my phone number.
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common?
A: They are both baked chickens.
Police Officer: "How high are you?"
Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"
I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
There are three moms.
A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.
They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed.
I cannot believe she smokes weed"
They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse.
I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her.
Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse.
I just cannot believe she has a penis"