Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? A: Drug Abuse.
Officer: "your eyes look red man have you been smoking weed." Suspect: "officer your eyes look glazed like you has had doughnuts."
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed? A: You can't smoke too much weed.
If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
Chuck Norris doesn't do cocaine. Cocaine does Chuck Norris.
What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.
An Indian and an African walk into a bar... Just jokin'. It's just two liberal white women.