Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale?
A: Mr. President.
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Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor?
A: Drug Abuse.
Officer: "your eyes look red man have you been smoking weed."
Suspect: "officer your eyes look glazed like you has had doughnuts."
Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed?
A: You can't smoke too much weed.
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet?
A: A free for all.
You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.
Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
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