Joke #11891

Q: Why is divorce so costly? A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: divorce, money

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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
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A divorce court judge said to the husband,"Mr Geraghty,I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $800 a week." "That's very fair,your honour," he replied. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: divorce, husband, lawyer, money
I lost 125 pounds. It took me a long time, and it cost me a lot of money, but I finally divorced the bitch!
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: divorce, mean, money, time
Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Signs You're No Longer in College... You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close. Your potted plants stay alive. You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill. Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces. You attend parties that the police don't raid. You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking. You refer to college students as "those kids." You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza. At 6 a.m., you're putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out. Naps are no longer weekday options. Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy. Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips. You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: college, divorce, food, marriage, money
Q: If marriage is terrific what is divorce? A: Ten thousand!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage, money
Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.
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has 34.70 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: divorce, redneck
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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has 81.16 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: animal, IT, management, money, programmer
Yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, mean, money, religious