Joke #11891

Q: Why is divorce so costly? A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: divorce, money

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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
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has 80.93 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: divorce, mean, men, money, women
A divorce court judge said to the husband,"Mr Geraghty,I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $800 a week." "That's very fair,your honour," he replied. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: divorce, husband, lawyer, money
I lost 125 pounds. It took me a long time, and it cost me a lot of money, but I finally divorced the bitch!
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: divorce, mean, money, time
Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, divorce, money
Signs You're No Longer in College... You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close. Your potted plants stay alive. You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill. Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces. You attend parties that the police don't raid. You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking. You refer to college students as "those kids." You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza. At 6 a.m., you're putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out. Naps are no longer weekday options. Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy. Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips. You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.
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has 56.20 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: college, divorce, food, marriage, money
Q: If marriage is terrific what is divorce? A: Ten thousand!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage, money
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce. The priest was surprised. "Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about." The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned." "Ah"” said the priest, "a parable." "In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: divorce, love, men, priest, wife
Using a credit card is a convenient way to spend money you wish you had.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
Being poor has its advantages. For example your keys are never in your other trousers.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
A builder was once building a fence to surround a farmer's sheep. The builder finished, and the farmer was ready to pay. The builder then came up to the farmer and said: "Sir, I hope this isn't too a-fenc-ive.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: communication, money, work