Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
Three statisticians are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away. The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left. The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right. The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
One day a blonde came home from school and came to her mother and said, "Hey, Mommy! Mommy! Today in school we learned to count. The other kids could only count to three but I can count to Ten..... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" The mother responds, "Very good honey." The blonde asks, "Is that because I'm a blonde mommy?" And the mother responds, "Yes dear." Next day the blonde came home and went to her mother and said, "Today in school we learned our ABCs! The other kids could only get to D but I can get to K! .... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K!" The mother says, "Very good honey." The blonde then asked. "Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?" The mother responds, "Yes dear." The third day the blonde come home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy today in school we went swimming! But I was the only one who had breasts. Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?" And the mother responds, "No Honey, it's because you're twenty five."
Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.