Joke #11960

Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
Vote:
has 83.05 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, religious

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
Vote:
has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, Halloween, teen
A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!"
Vote:
has 82.31 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: family, food, religious
Your mama so old she sat next to Moses in the second grade.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, religious, school, Yo mama
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Vote:
has 66.49 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: beer, bible, Chuck Norris, religious, wine
Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? A: Hope it's Halloween!
Vote:
has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, Halloween
An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork... Have you actually ever tasted it?" The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion." Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you’re supposed to be celibate. But..." The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you’re going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice." There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn’t it?"
Vote:
has 71.62 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: priest, religious, sex, travel
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity? A: Osama Bin Laiden.
Vote:
has 61.37 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, religious, sex
Q: How big are the pastro's beds? A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
Vote:
has 32.63 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, religious, sex
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween, stupid
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!" The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused. Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
Vote:
has 78.89 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, god, hunting, religious