Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
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Three holy men rode a plane home.
There was a terrorist on board who of the firm belief that the world should end.
Who should talk him out of it.
The pilot and his crew gave up and believed the holy men should live.
In the remains was a burnt soccer ball labeled flame retardant.
And a melted black box.
The holy men still live to tell the tale.
And so does the football.
The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day.
Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
Vote:
Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.
"Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?"
And then she went back to reading her book.
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A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out.
"Good God!" exclaimed the hunter.
Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, "I thought you don't believe in me."
The hunter replied, "Up until now I didn't believe in 1,000-pound deer either."
Q: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
A: Wrap music!
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?
A: Tweets!
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What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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