Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex?
Girl: A threesome.
Boy: What's it called when two people have sex?
Girl: A twosome.
Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.
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A woman walks into her sex thearapist’s office and tells her that her husband is not a very good lover, and the rarely have sex anymore, and asks what to do about it?
The therapist tells her that she has a new drug called Viagra that might do the trick.
She tells the woman to give him one pill that night, and come back in the morning to tell her what happens.
The next day the woman walks in ecstatic telling the therapist the viagra worked, and she and her husband had the best sex ever.
She asks her therapist what would happen if she gave her husband two pills?
The therapist replies she dosn’t know but says to go ahead and try it.
The next day, the same thing happens, the woman comes in telling the therapist tha the sex was even better than the night before.
She asks the therapist what whould happen if she gave him five pills?
The therapist once again tells her to give it a try.
The following day the woman comes back in LIMP BUT HAPPY, tells the therapist the sex just keeps getting better and better.
She asks what would happen if she gave him the rest of the bottle?
The therapists tells her its a new drug and she doesn’t know what a full bottle would do to a person.
The woman leaves the office and puts the rest of the pills in her husbands morning coffee.
A week later a boy walks into the therapists office and asks: "Are you the “idiot” who gave my MOTHER a bottle of Viagra?"
"Why yes young man I did?"
"Why?"
"Well mom’s dead, my sister’s Pregnant, my A– Hurts, and Dad just sits in the corner going, 'here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty…'”
‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.’
Steve Martin
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
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What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex?
A: freak.
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Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs?
A: Because they have to!
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex?
A: Gladiator.
A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’
She replies, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’
Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS?
A: A sharp pain in the ass.
Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
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