Joke #1197

Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome. Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome. Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.
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Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her! The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?
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They are going to play golf at the business meeting. The guy flies out there a day early. He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha. He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for. He takes her in back and starts doing his thing. The girl starts going crazy. She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!" He thinks, "This girl is loving this." Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one. He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!" The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

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A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought, "I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab." He popped into a phone booth near  the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.  He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, "What the heck, I'll give her a call." "Hello," the woman says. She sounded sexy.  "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks... We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?" She says, "That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."
Vote: has 75.33 % from 212 votes. Send joke:

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A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ. ‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’
Vote: has 64.05 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

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It’s the morning after the honeymoon. The wife says, ‘You know, you’re a really lousy lover.’ The husband replies, ‘How can you possible tell that after only 30 seconds.’
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Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ. Aaron, you see what I am seeing? Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine. That long? No, that dead.
Vote: has 48.11 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
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It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
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GOD said, “Adam, I want you to do something for me.” “Gladly, Lord,” replied Adam. “What do you want me to do?” “Go down into the valley.” “What’s a valley?” asked Adam. God explained to him, then said, Cross the river.” “What’s a river?” God explained it to him, and then continued, “Go over the hill…”. “What’s a hill?” God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, “On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave.” “What’s a cave?” After God explained, he said, “In the cave you will find a woman.” Adam asked, “What’s a woman?” So God explained that to him too. He continued, “I want you to reproduce.” “How do I do that?” “Jeez,” God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the cave where he found a woman.” A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, “What’s a headache?”
Vote: has 70.72 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

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Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: Gorgonzola! Wait, it is not on yet.
Vote: has 47.59 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

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