Joke #1198

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
Vote:
has 65.92 % from 438 votes. More jokes about: sex, ugly

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink. While waiting, he sees a guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a little tiny head. So, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body and a small head?" The guy replied, "I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her." "For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and POOF right there on the sand was $10,000,00." "For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and POOF right there on the ocean was a 90-foot yacht." "Finally for my third wish, I asked to have sex with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in that kind of activities." So, I said, "c'mon, how about a little head?"
Vote:
has 81.51 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: bar, genie, money, sex, ugly
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
Vote:
has 69.69 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: insulting, sex, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
Vote:
has 44.95 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: baby, sex, ugly
Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
Vote:
has 60.27 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
Vote:
has 84.89 % from 1883 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, sex, wedding
Q: How is spinach like anal sex? A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
Vote:
has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, food, kids, sex
Did I tell you the joke about my dick? Never mind its too long.
Vote:
has 64.97 % from 341 votes. More jokes about: sex
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she has to sneak up to water fountains to get a drink.
Vote:
has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama so ugly that she died of fright when she looked in the mirror.
Vote:
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: death, ugly, Yo mama