Joke #1198

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
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Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
Vote: has 68.87 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

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Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
Vote: has 38.24 % from 109 votes. Send joke:

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A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him. ‘Hello,’ he says. ‘Do you speak English?’ ‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman. ‘How much?’ asks the man. The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’
Vote: has 62.43 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

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Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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‘Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.’ Rodney Dangerfield
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What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
Vote: has 66.72 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

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Yo' Mama's teeth are so yellow, when she closes her mouth, her cheeks light up.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea. The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?" She said that she did. He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said no. The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?" The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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