Joke #1198

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
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has 65.47 % from 429 votes. More jokes about: sex, ugly

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A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink. While waiting, he sees a guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a little tiny head. So, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body and a small head?" The guy replied, "I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her." "For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and POOF right there on the sand was $10,000,00." "For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and POOF right there on the ocean was a 90-foot yacht." "Finally for my third wish, I asked to have sex with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in that kind of activities." So, I said, "c'mon, how about a little head?"
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has 83.07 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: bar, genie, money, sex, ugly
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
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has 70.45 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: insulting, sex, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
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has 40.70 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: baby, sex, ugly
Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
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has 22.14 % from 295 votes. More jokes about: baby, dead baby, disgusting, life, sex
Yo momma so fat when I crawl in her pussy I can't find my way out.
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has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, insulting, sex, Yo mama
My sex life isn’t dead, but the buzzards are circling.
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has 32.98 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: sex
An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
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has 83.57 % from 779 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
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has 62.88 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax