Joke #1198

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
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has 65.32 % from 421 votes. More jokes about: sex, ugly

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A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink. While waiting, he sees a guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a little tiny head. So, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body and a small head?" The guy replied, "I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her." "For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and POOF right there on the sand was $10,000,00." "For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and POOF right there on the ocean was a 90-foot yacht." "Finally for my third wish, I asked to have sex with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in that kind of activities." So, I said, "c'mon, how about a little head?"
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has 77.32 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: bar, genie, money, sex, ugly
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
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has 70.37 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: insulting, sex, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
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has 39.24 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: baby, sex, ugly
Yo momma so skinny she looks like a mic stand.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: fat, mean, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama so ugly that her mom only fed her with a sling shot.
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: food, mean, ugly, Yo mama
Jenna, Jessica and ariana die. They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud". The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy. Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy. Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOTT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall. Jenna and jessica ask, "What happen?" The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, god, heaven, life, ugly
Yo mama so ugly that slender man didn't even want follow her.
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has 61.91 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Two men were talking about their wives. First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please." Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, teacher, work
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured. "No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!" she answers. "Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands. She whispers in his ear: "That’s me before the surgery."
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has 78.60 % from 700 votes. More jokes about: dad, husband, love, sex