Joke #1198

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
Vote:
has 65.54 % from 430 votes. More jokes about: sex, ugly

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink. While waiting, he sees a guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a little tiny head. So, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body and a small head?" The guy replied, "I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her." "For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and POOF right there on the sand was $10,000,00." "For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and POOF right there on the ocean was a 90-foot yacht." "Finally for my third wish, I asked to have sex with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in that kind of activities." So, I said, "c'mon, how about a little head?"
Vote:
has 82.52 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: bar, genie, money, sex, ugly
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
Vote:
has 70.45 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: insulting, sex, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
Vote:
has 41.64 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: baby, sex, ugly
What is the smallest hotel in the world? A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
Vote:
has 72.29 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Q: What type of bees make milk? A: Boo-bees.
Vote:
has 68.07 % from 686 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, sex
‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’ George Burns
Vote:
has 52.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: sex
Yo momma so ugly that she made all her blind kids cry.
Vote:
has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
Two old women were talking about their sex lives. Ethel was upset because her sex life had really died, while Mildred said her sex life was great. Mildred counseled Ethel, "When my Sammy is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lie on the bed, and put both legs behind my head. When he sees me like that, he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night." Ethel said, "I'm going to try that tonight." While Ethel's husband Harold was in the bathroom that night, she took off all her clothes. She struggled to get both legs behind her head. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel fell backwards and couldn't move. Harold came out of the bathroom with a shocked look on his face. "For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in. You look like an a**hole."
Vote:
has 61.56 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, sex, women
Yo mama so ugly that she died of fright when she looked in the mirror.
Vote:
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: death, ugly, Yo mama