Joke #1198

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
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Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
Vote: has 69.37 % from 96 votes. Send joke:

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Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
Vote: has 37.87 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

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Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
Vote: has 83.22 % from 5401 votes. Send joke:

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Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
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The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?  All the men stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?'  All the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn' t belong to them?'  Half the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?'  Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. The priest fainted.
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"Excuse me," he says to her, "do we know each other?" "Sure," she answers, "one of my children is yours!" The guy confused, thinks and suddenly remembers the only time he cheated his wife. So he asks her: "Were you that stripper invited at a bachelor party at the suburbs last spring and we ended up having wild sex in the kitchen? You had manacled my hands and you cramed a carrot in my a…!" The woman frowned answers: "No, I am your son’s philologist..."
Vote: has 72.96 % from 205 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, I asked if her face hurt because it was killing me.
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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Yo mama so hairy when you were born you almost died of rugburn.
Vote: has 36.64 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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