Joke #1198

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
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has 64.99 % from 417 votes. More jokes about: sex, ugly

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A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink. While waiting, he sees a guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a little tiny head. So, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body and a small head?" The guy replied, "I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her." "For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and POOF right there on the sand was $10,000,00." "For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and POOF right there on the ocean was a 90-foot yacht." "Finally for my third wish, I asked to have sex with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in that kind of activities." So, I said, "c'mon, how about a little head?"
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has 79.18 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: bar, genie, money, sex, ugly
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
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has 69.86 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: insulting, sex, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
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has 38.77 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: baby, sex, ugly
Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...
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has 85.25 % from 941 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, marriage, sex, wife
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Her wedding cake.
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has 78.91 % from 1290 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, sex, wedding
A wife sending a short message to her husband: It was just said on the news that they found a hideous corpse with a hollow head, a cigar among ugly rotten teeth and a bottle of liquor in his hand. I'm worried about you!. Please, give me a ring...
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has 51.28 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, ugly, wife
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: business, flirt, food, money, sex
Your momma is so ugly when she gets her beauty sleep she falls into a coma!
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has 68.72 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: beauty, health, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Yo' Mama's teeth are so yellow, when she closes her mouth, her cheeks light up.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama