Joke #1200

Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.

WTF? = Where's The Food?

Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"

When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.

An Italian and a Greek were arguing about which country added the most to civilization. The Greek: We built the Acropolis! the Italian: We built the colloseum! The Greek: We gave the world advanced math! the Italian: We made the Roman Empire! The Greek: We discovered sex! the Italian: And we introduced it to women!

One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest." The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"

Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.

Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.

Two blokes sitting in a bar, 1 says, "After 10 years of marriage, s*x is down to three times a year." The other replies, "Same here pal, as a matter of fact if my wife didn't sleep with her mouth open I'd have none at all."

Now there's a rack I'd like to be stretched out on.

What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.