Joke #1200

Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
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has 76.78 % from 580 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. "How come you are sweating?" he asks. The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"
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has 79.45 % from 207 votes. More jokes about: dirty, medical, parrot, viagra
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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has 36.03 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, sex, women
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, game, kids
Friend pisses me off so I poked holes in his condom the night before he uses it. Three months later... my mom's pregnant.
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has 73.41 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? They're going to call her Old Spice.
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has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, music, old people
Knock Knock! Who's there? Testicules. Testicules who? Pillow for penis .
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has 68.14 % from 496 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
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has 68.18 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, easter, sex
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
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has 60.54 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, love, mean, poems
At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: "Do you know me, Mrs. Rowland?" "Of course, I know you Mr. Smith! says the old woman. I know you since you were little, and I have to confess that I am very disappointed in you. You lie, you cheat on your wife repeatedly, you gossip about your clients. Of course, I know you!" Speechless, by the unexpected answer, the lawyer points with his finger on the other side of the court room and says: "Do you know the defense lawyer?" "Oh, yes! I know Mr. Soft as well. I was holding him in my arms when he was a baby, and I can say that I am disappointed in him, too. He’s a drunk and a gamester. He finds it hard to develop a normal relationship with anyone and he is one of the worst lawyers of our town!" At that point, the Chairman interrupts the process and demands from the two lawyers to approach the bench. When they do, he bends over and whispers to them: "If any of you jerks, asks if she knows me, you’re screwed!"
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has 79.22 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drunk, lawyer, relationship, wife
A total naked woman rushed in a taxi. The taxi driver turned back and stared at her so keenly. The woman asked the taxi driver, "Why are you staring at me that way, haven't you ever seen a naked woman?" The taxi driver replied, "No, I just wonder where you have my money."
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has 84.67 % from 497 votes. More jokes about: dirty