Joke #1200

Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
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has 76.70 % from 578 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy back wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.
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has 82.75 % from 485 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
Long time ago, in the land of Persia there lived a powerful king and his beautiful queen. The queen was so gorgeous that the king's ministers were obsessed and craving to seduce her. One day, the king got an invitation to visit the King of Ethiopia and left behind his queen and his kingdom. Before leaving, he asked his three ministers to take good care of his queen and all his affairs during his absence. All three pronounced their loyalty. That night, when the queen was deep asleep the king placed a sharp blade inside her because he didn't trust his three ministers. The following week, the king returned and summoned his three ministers to the palace. He ordered all three to strip. To the king's surprise, two of them were penisless and the third was fine. The two unfaithful ministers were immediately executed. The king praised the third minister for his loyalty and asked him what he wished. "Aaaah, aaaaaaaaah," he replied.
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has 74.99 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: dirty, political, sex
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, stupid
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
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has 40.61 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
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has 43.55 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, relationship, sex, work
Q: What did the prositutes knee say to the other? A: Nothing. They have never met.
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has 57.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty
At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?” Most of the hands go up. “And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?” About half the hands stay up. “Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with a ghost?” Three hands stay up; there’s a slight murmur in the crowd. “Gosh, that’s pretty good. Okay, have any of you ever, uh…, been *intimate* with a ghost?” One hand stays up. The speaker blinks. “Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you’ve actually had *sexual* contact with a ghost?” The fellow suddenly blushes and says, “Oh, I’m sorry,… I thought you said goat!”
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has 77.22 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: Papa Boner
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has 46.90 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
There was three boys called Zip, Dick and Piss They were in class and their teacher went out to make a phone call Right then Zip jumped on the table Dick jumped in the teachers chair And Piss was punchin everyone in sight 3 minutes later the teacher back in and said Zip down Dick out and Piss in the corner.
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has 62.17 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
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has 61.37 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, god, sex