I'll have you saying, "My compliments to the chef" in no time!
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Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
Yo momma is so fat, that when NASA put her on the moon, her breasts were the only things bouncing... just like on earth.
Q: If Nuts on your chest are Chestnuts and Nuts on a wall are Walnuts. What are Nuts on your chin called?
A: A Cock in the mouth!
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Friend pisses me off so I poked holes in his condom the night before he uses it.
Three months later... my mom's pregnant.
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
What do you call an afghan virgin
Mever bin laid on
A big dirty farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"This is the pig I have to f*ck when you're not up for s*x."
His wife says: "I think you'll find that's a sheep."
He says: " I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!"
Boy: you left this at my house last night
Girl: that aint mine
Boy : sorry number 32 I thought you were someone else
Q: Why can women play hockey?
A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.