Q: What was the world's first palindrome?
A: Madam, I'm Adam.
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Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy."
Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman."
Coincidence?
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Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve?
A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
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A man and wife were having argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning.
The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first.
The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job.
The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it.
The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it.
She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said "Hebrews".
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Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?"
Mom: "Because he never lies."
Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form.
A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.
The pharmacist says: "Here's a pill for English literature."
The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature.
"What else do you have?" asks the student.
"Well I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist.
The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects.
Then the student asks: "Do you have a pill for math?"
The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back to the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plonks it on the counter.
"I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student.
The pharmacist replies, "Well you know math always was a little hard to swallow."
A German woman is walking down the street.
Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her.
She screams, "Nein!, Nein"
So two guys walk away.
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert?
A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By norse code!
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder?
He had a bee in his suit of armour!
Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?
Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss!
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!