Q: What was the world's first palindrome?
A: Madam, I'm Adam.
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Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy."
Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman."
Coincidence?
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Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve?
A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
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A man and wife were having argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning.
The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first.
The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job.
The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it.
The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it.
She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said "Hebrews".
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Q: Did you hear about the the evangelical atheist?
A: She went door to door with a book full of blank pages.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owls say.
Owls say who?
Yep, that they do.
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Q: What explorer was the best at Hiding and Seek?
A: Marco Polo.
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.
Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks, "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"
"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Yo Mama so old...
When she was at school...there was No history class!