Joke #12052

Q: What was the world's first palindrome? A: Madam, I'm Adam.

Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy." Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman." Coincidence?

Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.

A man and wife were having argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning. The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first. The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job. The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it. The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it. She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said "Hebrews".

One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

A pregnant lady learns from her dentist that she needs a root canal. She says to the dentist, "darn ... I'd just as soon give birth as have a root canal". The dentist replies, "well, make up your mind so I know what position to put the chair in".

Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time? A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.

A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says: "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature. "What else do you have?" asks the student. "Well I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks: "Do you have a pill for math?" The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back to the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plonks it on the counter. "I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replies, "Well you know math always was a little hard to swallow."

"Are you two twins?" "No, why do you ask?" "Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes." "OK that's enough, your driver's license please."

An elderly couple in their 80's were going to Florida. At the border, the customs officer asks where they were going. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we are going. He then tells the officer that we are going to Florida. The customs officer now asks how long they were going to Florida for. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know how long we are going to Florida for. The husband tells the officer that they were going for 2 months. The customs officer then asks where they were coming from. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to his wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we were coming from. The husband tells the officer that they were from Hamilton. The customs officer thinks for a minute and tells the husband that he had dated a lady from Hamilton and she was the worst piece of ass he ever had. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to his wife and says "He thinks he knows you".

Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.