Joke #724

How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code! Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder? He had a bee in his suit of armour! Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss! Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!
Vote: has 48.69 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: history, kids

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother. Johnny: "Why is this tampon commercial so long?" Mother: "This is my favorite show called 90210." Johnny: ...
Vote: has 59.75 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, kids, little Johnny, time
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, history
Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, history
In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, "Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests." Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. "Well, said Mr. Johnson, I was looking over your test and the question was, 'Who was our first president?', and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington,' and so did you." "So, everyone knows that he was the first president." "Well, just wait a minute," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who freed the slaves?' Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you." "Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that," said Johnny. "Wait, wait," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?' Mary put 'I don't know,' and you put, 'Me neither'."
Vote: has 83.42 % from 681 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: history, political, school, student, teacher
Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.
Vote: has 67.61 % from 163 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, history, Hitler, jewish
DEPT OF STATISTICS: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. DEPT OF HISTORY: All students get the same grade they got last year. DEPT OF RELIGION: Grade is determined by God. DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: What is a grade? LAW SCHOOL: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: Grades are variable. DEPT OF LOGIC: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: Random number generator determines grade. MUSIC DEPARTMENT: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Everybody gets an A.
Vote: has 58.09 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: history, math, religious, school
There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale." A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish. The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they’re dam fish." The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish. His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren’t supposed to talk like that." The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish. His son replied, "That’s the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"
Vote: has 75.77 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, history
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, history, mean, women
Who's the biggest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Vote: has 82.07 % from 344 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, dirty, game, history